goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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