I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i came on her dog
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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