and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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