You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
