Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize