I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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