No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
