I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
