I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
