Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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