see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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