Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
