she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
