This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
