wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
