i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
