Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize