Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize