i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
