I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
