Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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