I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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