I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
