Duck Duck Cougar?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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