Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
