About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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