i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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