i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
