I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize