I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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