so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
