New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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