Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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