she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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