She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
