You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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