so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
one might say we're banned from that church
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
