i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
