my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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