Define "chronic" masturbator.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize