Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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