Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
