Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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