biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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