we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize