Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The air taste purple.
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