if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
