Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize