I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
