Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
