She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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