You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
