Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
