she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am available for nakedness
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
