I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
