How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently you make a good broom.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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