Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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