Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
