After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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