Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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