I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
