Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
