i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
