She's JV to your varsity
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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