I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
