You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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