Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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