I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
