She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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